Some Additional & Relevant History
After my wife and I moved South about two decades ago, Ira and my wife (his daughter) talked at length virtually every day for most of those twenty years. She told him of all the great and small happenings in our family, kept him up-to-date about her work, and listened carefully to his stories about his work, exercise programs, and other daily activities.
Over the past two decades, I often heard my wife speak to Ira of her love for him and of the things she looked forward to - including hoping he would retire soon so they could spend more time together.
Yet, while Ira over and over said how important we were to him, little he did as a father, grandfather, or father-in-law supported that.
When our daughter (his only biological granddaughter) was born, Ira, about 80 at the time, was "too busy" with work to come and see her.
It was an appalling 9 months before Ira could "find the time" to come and see his grandchild - who by that time was already starting to walk.
Now, just think about that. Would it take you 9 months to find the time to meet your only biological granddaughter?
When he finally came - for a short weekend visit - Ira Gollobin did have some wonderful moments with my wife and daughter. But, unfortunately, he also brought books and paperwork and spent a good part of what should have been a joyous family visit busy reading and working.
Still, my wife loved her father, and she made the most of this visit and every subsequent visit - enjoying every moment she could with him (and enjoying every moment he spent with our daughter).
Over the course of many years, I watched my wife show and tell Ira of her love and caring for him, of our daughter's many artistic and intellectual successes, and how she looked forward to his calls and visits.
My wife also really looked forward to her father's retirement, hoping that would finally allow for more of the "family time" with him that she had so long wanted. And Ira led us to believe that this was what he wanted as well.
Unfortunately, after Ira retired, he didn't follow through on this or on his other promises - all of which caused a great deal of pain.